Prerequisites of Honesty and Courage

坦诚和勇气的先决条件

 

Some people are not prepared to face the truth about themselves. For example, a student may use his perceived self-image as a fun-loving person as an excuse for doing poorly in his school grades. In reality, he is a procrastinator ... put off doing his homework or studying for the exams till the last minute.

有些人无法面对真实的自我，例如：一些学生很可能用他理解的自我形象象喜欢娱乐等理由去辩解他在学校的不良状况。事实上，他是个拖延者，拖延功课或学习直到考试前的最后时刻。

When you know who you are, you may have to change; and some people just do not want to change because changing demands effort! Self-awareness requires honesty and courage ... to get in touch with what we are thinking and feeling and to face the truth about ourselves.

当你认识自我后，你可以去改变，一些人不愿意试着改变是因为改变需要付出努力。自我了解需要坦诚和勇气，去获得我们真实的想法.感觉及面对真实的自我

 

Benefits of Self-awareness

自我认知的好处

 

The better you understand yourself, the better you are able to accept or change who you are. Being in the dark about yourself means that you will continue to get caught up in your own internal struggles and allowed outside forces to mould and shape you.

更好的了解你自己，就能更好的接受或改变自己，当你感到消沉时，意味着你将面临持续的内心挣扎及被外界力量所改变。

As we move toward the 21st century, the knowledge-based economy demands that we upgrade our knowledge and skills to keep up with the ever-changing society. However, the starting point should be the knowledge of oneself as a unique individual and how one relates to this new economy. The clarity with which you can answer these questions: Who am I? Where have I been? Where am I going? determines your capability to chart your own destiny and realize your potential.

当我们接近21世纪时，知识经济要求我们提升知识层面以及技能水平跟上与日俱新的社会发展,

然而，更重要是你应该拥有独特创新的知识跟上新的经济发展，你能清楚的回答这些问题吗？我是谁？我将去哪里？我在做什么？决定你的能力就能描绘出你的命运及认识你拥有的潜能。

 

Realistic View

客观审视

 

In your quest to know yourself, do not think of yourself more highly than you should. In other words, no superiority attitude. Rather have a sober view of your strengths. On the other hand, do not exaggerate your weaknesses and look down on yourself. Also, do not excuse or rationalize your weaknesses. We need a realistic view of both our strengths and weaknesses if we are to know our true selves.

在人生过程中去了解自己，不要过高评价自己，换言之，这是对自己没有丝毫好处的态度，有一个清醒的观点才是你的强项，；另一方面不要夸大缺点和看轻自己，也不要原谅自己的缺点或听之任之，如果我们想了解真正的自我的话就必须客观的看待我们的优点及缺点。

 

How we see ourselves may be clouded by the feedback messages we received about ourselves from others. But how could anyone know more about you than you? They do not feel your emotions or think your thoughts; they do not face the issues that you wrestled with. No one could know you better than you! Therefore, do not let others look down on you.

我们看自己可能往往被别人反馈的信息给模糊，但是别人怎么可能比你更了解自己呢。他们不能感受到你的情感或你的思维，他们不能面对你的挣扎，没人能更了解你自己，因此，没有什么能让你看轻自己.

 

Significant Others ... Parents

 其他重要的方面...父母

 

Remember what I said earlier that some people may not be prepared to face the truth about themselves. This may be true of you. Therefore, you must be prepared to listen to others, especially significant others ... allowed them to jolt you to re-examine your own perceived self-image. There are no perfect people and there are no perfect parents. Nevertheless, from a practical viewpoint, our parents, who gave birth to us have the opportunity to observe us at close quarters over many years, would have a clearer insight of our character than anybody else. You don't have to accept their views but at least listen to them.

记得前面说过一些人可能不想面对他们真实的自我，这可能是真实的你，因此，你必须去倾听另外的特别重要的一面，，承认他们对你的影响并反复检查你认识的自我，他们不是完人，也不是完美的父母，然而，来自我们父母的实用观点，他们养育并照看我们多年，比起任何人对我们的个性有更深刻的洞察，你不必完全赞成他们但至少得听。

 

Self-awareness Questions

1.      What are your strengths?
What are your weaknesses?

2.      How do your friends describe you?
Do you agree with their descriptions? Why or why not?

3.      List two situtations when you are most at ease.
What specific elements were present when you felt that way?

4.      What types of activities did you enjoy doing when you were a child?
What about now?

5.      What motivates you? Why?

6.      What are your dreams for the future?
What steps are you taking to achieve your dreams?

7.      What do you fear most in your life? Why?

8.      What stresses you?
What is your typical response to stress?

9.      What qualities do you like to see in people? Why?
Do you have many friends as you just described? Why or why not?

10.  When you disagree with someone's viewpoint, what would you do?

 

 

 

在体察别人的心境方面，我们往往都很粗心。人人都有自己的烦恼事，都不由自主地被琐碎的日常生活推着走，谁有工夫来注意你的心境，注意到了又能替你做什么呢？当心灵的重负使你的精神濒于崩溃，只要减一分便能得救时，也未必有人动这一举手之劳，因为具备这个能力的人多半觉得自己有更重要的事要做，压根儿想不到那一件他轻易能做到的小事竟会决定你的生死。心境不能沟通，这是人类生存的基本境遇之一，所以每个人在某个时刻都会觉得自己是被弃的孤儿

 

 

我对成功的理解：把自己喜欢的事做得尽善尽美，让自己满意，不要去管别人怎么说。

在艰难中创业，在万马齐喑时呐喊，在时代舞台上叱咤风云，这是一种追求。在淡泊中坚持，在天下沸沸扬扬时沉默，在名利场外自甘于寂寞和清贫，这也是一种追求。追求未必总是显示进取的姿态

 

最基本的划分不是成功与失败，而是以伟大的成功和伟大的失败为一方，以渺小的成功和渺 小的失败为另一方。在上帝眼里，伟大的失败也是成功，渺小的成功也是失败.

   

成长和职业方向

Waiting longer to commit

等待太久去承诺

 

ACCOUNTANCY in London, banking in New York, and teaching English in Shanghai – these are the positions Dave Speakman has tried since graduating in 2004.The 26-year-old is experiencing his "odyssey years" – a decade of changing jobs and meeting possible life partners before settling into a career.

 

在伦敦从事会计业,在纽约从事银行业,在上海从事英语教学,这些都是Dave speakman自从2004年毕业后经历过的职业,26岁正经历着所谓”奥德赛”时代,经历一个职业变动和寻找着可能性的人生伴侣,乃至最后确定职业生涯的时代.

 

This 20-something age-group has been studied by William Galston, a social scientist at the Brookings Institution in Washington. According to his new research, young people today live with their parents longer, get married later, and take several years to settle into a permanent job.

 

William Galston,一个在华盛顿研究机构工作的社会科学家，对20几岁的人群进行了研究，通过他的最新调查发现，如今的年轻人生活在父母身边的时间延长了，结婚时间推后了，并且需要花几年的时间才能找到固定的职业.

Gaining experience
获得经验

In 1960, 70 percent of American 30-year-olds had moved out of the parental home, married and become financially independent. By 2000 the figure was only 40 percent.

在1960年,有70%30岁的美国人搬离了父母家，结婚并有了经济上的独立。2000名人员的数据表明，有40%的如今的毕业生需花较长的时间去选择他们的职业及伴侣。

Today's graduates spend longer choosing a job and partner. They try out different skills or even work in different countries. Speakman, who has just moved back in with his parents in England, left his girlfriend behind to go and work abroad.

他们会试图尝试不同技能的工作并在不同国家工作。Speakman 已经搬离了英国的父母家，离开了他的女朋友去了国外工作。

"I wanted to take the opportunity of self-discovery, and find out what it was I really wanted from a job," he says.

“想寻找自我发现的机会，并从中找出自己真正想做的工作。”他说，

"They [young people] expect their jobs to provide satisfaction and they are unwilling to endure years of subordination to rise slowly through the ranks," Galston explains.
“年轻人希望他们的工作的满意度较高，并且没有耐心在下属岗位上慢慢的得到晋升”。Galston解释道。

It seems a luxury to be able to try out different roles. But the changing job market is pressing young people to look for a sense of focus.
看起来试图尝试不同的角色是一种奢侈。但是变换职业的市场也会迫使年轻人注意力集中。

Beth Bosiak, 27, has had three different jobs in Ontario, Canada since graduating. "I feel that my 20s have been frustrating and unsettling in terms of lacking a sense of career direction," she says.
Beth Bosiak,27岁，自从毕业后已经在加拿大渥太华换了3份工作了。我感觉20几岁时非常沮丧和令人不安，找不到职业方向感。

It is also getting harder to change jobs later in your 20s, because it means competing with people younger than you.
在20多岁以后改变职业就会变得比较困难，因为那意味着你将和比你更年轻的人竞争。

"I'm still going for graduate positions. Companies may think I have too much experience for them to mould me into who they want," says Speakman.

“我仍然在寻找着毕业生的职位，公司也许认为我有太多的经验，以至于难以打造成他们所希望的样子了。”Speakman.说。

This new life-phase of choice and change is increasingly captured by films and TV shows such as Knocked Up and Friends.
这种选择和改变的新生活阶段越来越多被捕捉到电影和电视中，象“意外之孕”和“老友记”等


Living with friends rather than a partner, like Rachel and Monica, has become the norm. Chandler's agony over changing careers is now a recognized pressure for all young people.
宁可选择和朋友一起生活而不是伴侣，象Rachel 和 Monica,这已成为一种普遍，改变职业引起的痛苦现在对年轻人来说也是一种公认的压力

But Galston believes the life skills that young people gain on their odyssey road could be a positive factor in the longer term.
但是Galston也相信从长远来看，对生活技能的挑战也成为年轻人在”奥德赛”道路成长的积极因素。


"They may be more satisfied with their job choices because they have taken longer to make them and enjoyed a wider range of experiences," he says.
这也可能使得他们将更满意他们的工作，因为他们花了更长的时间去选择，并可以由此获得范围更广的经验。“他说

Living the 'odyssey years' on screen
影屏上“奥德赛时代”的生活

Knocked up (2007)
意外之孕

The film portrays a male "20 something" (Ben) who has to face the unplanned responsibility of fatherhood. Renting an apartment with four friends, he is only interested in his job as a website-designer. So when a one-night stand (Alison) informs him she is pregnant, he is forced into an adult world and to abandon his "odyssey years".

影片描述了一个20几岁的男子(BEN)面临着在毫无思想准备的状况下承担起了父亲的身份.和4个朋友一起合租公寓.而他仅仅对他的工作---网站的设计员一职感兴趣,.所以当一个夜晚(Alison)告知她已经怀孕时,他不得已进入了成年人的世界并放弃了他的’奥得赛”时代.

 

Friends (1994)

老友记
A comedy series about six young Americans living in Manhattan, New York. They share apartments, date one another and change jobs regualrly, all in their bid to find their direction in life.
这是一部喜剧系列剧,6个年轻的美国人生活在曼哈顿,纽约,他们合租着公寓,互相约会以及定期的改变着工作,以期待能找到他们的人生方向.

What exactly is an adult?
成年人确切的含义

BEFORE a person can be considered an adult, what must be achieved? The following figures are from a survey targeted at young Britons.
首先一个有思考能力的成年人必须具备什么?下面是对英国年轻人的一些调查内容

Top 4 items:
前4项

Accept responsibility for the consequences of your actions 93%

对你的行为所造成的后果负责.

Choose personal beliefs and values independently 81%

能决定个人信仰及拥有独立性

Develop greater consideration for others 81%
能更多的考虑别人的立场

Achieve financial independence from parents 74%

有经济上的独立性

Bottom 4 items:
后4项
Enter full-time employment 26%
有一份全职工作

Get married 15%
结婚
Finish education 15%
完成教育
Have at least one child 14%
至少有一个孩子

CHATTER BOX
对话
Graduate: There are just so many jobs out there. I don't know which one is right for me.
毕业生:外面有很多工作,我不知道哪个更适合我.
Parent: Stop drifting from idea to idea. You need to pick a career and begin investing yourself in it.
父母:不要老是改变想法,你必须决定你的职业并投入兴趣
Graduate: But I'm only 23. I think I should try a job for size and see how it goes.
毕业生:但是我才23岁,应该尝试找到适合自己的工作然后再去发展.
Parent: But if you don't pick a career soon, it will be harder to find a good job later on.
父母:但是你再不决定职业的话,之后就更加难以找到好的工作了.

    （生命中不能承受之轻）我们也许可以称这种晕眩为一种虚弱的自我迷醉。一个人自觉软弱时，决定宁可屈从而不再坚挺，就是被这种软弱醉倒了，甚至会希望变得更加软弱，希望在大庭广众中倒下，希望倒下去，再倒下去。

    亚里士多德说：“离群索居者不是野兽，便是神灵。”

    正如托尔斯泰所说，在交往中，人面对的是部分的人群，而在独处时，人面对的是整体和万物之源。

    殊不知在人类历史上，以救主自居的世界征服者们造成的苦难远远超过普通的歹徒。

    我甚至相信，人最接近上帝的时刻不是在上帝向人显示奇迹的时候，而是在人认识到世上并无奇迹却仍然对世界的美丽感到惊奇的时候。

    我们为什么会渴望爱？我们心中为什么会有爱？我的回答是：因为我们都是孤儿。

    韩愈把毁谤的根源归结为懒惰和嫉妒。

    有两种自卑。一种是面对上帝的自卑，这种人心怀对于无限的敬畏和谦卑之情，深知人类一切成就的局限，在任何情况下不会忘乎所以，不会狂妄。另一种是面对他人的自卑，这种人很在乎在才智、能力、事功或任何他所看重的方面同别人比较，崇拜强者，相应地也就藐视弱者，因此自卑很容易转变为自大。

 

最近看到朋友空间里的美味佳肴的制作,不仅有点眼谗起来.

休息天,闲来无事,也试着做了几个.好久不做,技艺明显生疏了.不过基础还算比较扎实(笑),

这次选了几个简单的菜练习一下,

 

1.涼拌生菜

材料:生菜

以前,生菜一直是炒着吃的,这次破例,用热水洗干净之后,切碎,加入麻油,盐,和味精,也做成了一道美味可口的凉菜,

 

2.肉片小炒

材料:黑末儿,肉片,椒白,豆腐干切片,也可加入洋葱

.这个菜比较简单,材料可一起放入油锅内炒1-2分钟后,放入些水,煮3-5分钟后放少许调味料即可.

 

3.清蒸鱼

千岛湖鱼半条,红枣,生姜,岱菜,火腿片少许,

切好半条鱼,事前用少许盐磋一下,加入上述材料后,放在电饭褒中蒸至15分钟左右,浇上色拉油少许.,再蒸5分钟即可.

 

4．韭菜肉丝小炒

材料：韭菜、肉丝、榨菜、豆腐干丝

先将肉丝用嵌粉搅拌一下，放入油内炒1分钟后盛起，然后倒入韭菜、榨菜、豆腐干丝等炒5分钟左右后再倒入肉丝，过2-3分钟后即可。

 

5．罗卜子排煲

材料：子排若干、罗卜切块

先将子排倒如滚水中煮5分钟左右，将水倒掉，然后在放入子排，罗卜炖30分钟左右，放入盐，适量味精即可。

 

6，酱烤卷心菜

材料：卷心菜

这是一道卷心菜的新吃法，把卷心菜倒入油内后炒至3分钟后，放入一种叫蒸鱼鼓油（李锦记产，在超市都有买）的调料，再炒至熟即可， 同时也可以作成白菜煲,,放入香肠片,可边用微火加热边吃.

不用放盐和味精。味道特别，建议一试。